Creating and sustaining a strong "we"
When two people create an intimate relationship, this relationship becomes an
“entity” in itself - what we call the “WE.”
Both partners need to contribute to the "WE". Just like a flower bed in spring-time requires enough water, nutrients, sunshine and regular weeding to sustain its beauty and
aliveness, the WE requires care and attention to thrive.
Developing and sustaining a strong WE is crucial for both partners to feel
safe and secure in their relationship.
Most of us never had the opportunity to learn the relationship skills
needed to develop and sustain a strong WE.
Leila and Paul work together as a couple teaching and mentoring couples how to create a strong WE by updating their relationship skills.
Falling "in" and "out" of love
Intimate relationships go through stages - ‘falling in love” is the first stage of intimate relationships. What many people don't know is that after falling in love, sooner or later, people "fall out" of love.
Falling out of love frequently triggers a sense of hopelessness about making the relationship last. This is a time when partners have to confront the decision to either "work at their relationship," leave the relationship or continue the relationship feeling their needs are not met.
Some relationships may not be suitable to last because partners may not be a good match in their values and requirements. However, the current divorce rate (50-70%) shows that something is missing in the way we approach creating and sustaining intimate relationships.
We believe that the "missing" element is relationship education and that couples can use this "falling out of love" stage to jump-start a new stage of love.
This new stage is about creating the LOVE that we want to have.
We build this love through our commitment to love, our commitment to be 100% there for each other. Our commitment to give our partner what our partner needs and wants, instead of what we think they need or want. To build this love we need to update our relationship skills, and that is the role of relationship education.
Many common beliefs about intimate relationships are based on idealized images about couplehood that only exist in movies and do not happen in real life. Many of us never had the opportunity to go further than the "falling out" of love stage in a relationship because the only way we know is to move on, leave and find a new partner.
At the Center for Relationship Education and Renewal we are committed to supporting you in learning the skills to build the deep and lasting relationship you and your partner are seeking.